We’re nearing the time of year when goals are made and people come up with intentions for the new year. (I’m seeing a lot of “23 intentions/goals for 2023” but isn’t that a massive number of goals?) I think one of mine is: to treat life like a game.

And not just any game, but one of those massive, triple A, studio-produced extravaganzas which, sadly, contain mechanics like loot boxes and has some content hidden behind crazy paywalls. Because that’s how actual, real-world economics works. Sometimes the good stuff just costs a lot.

Also, this is a game where the camera is just a little janky. It’s a first-person point of view, which actually creates problems quite often, because when there are team raids no one can quite figure out what their team mates are looking at, or even where their team mate is on the map, because it’s one of those games where the map is oriented differently for every character. Obviously, this messy point of view issue creates problems. (We all say this should have been fixed in beta, but no one can remember when beta was, and anyway, the special point of view is actually one of the selling points of the game.)

And also also, this is one of those games which has been around for absolute ages. Like, the original players have reached god/celestial tier. Whole, separate leaderboards had to be created for them, otherwise succeeding generations just would not have a chance to do anything. Is it sometimes (ok, often) discouraging to look at the leaderboards and see the impossible scores already racked up? Yes. Is it sometimes (yup, often) discouraging when you encounter one of these OG players and they have items you’ve never even dreamed of? Of course.

But you know what, it’s precisely because the game has been around so long that the lore has gotten so rich and intriguing. There’s always, always new lore to discover. You cannot be bored with this game. And yes, there are quite serious feuds between whole groups of players, but the game itself continues. And every moment, other players are behaving with honour, and courage, and kindness, and just doing wonderful, astounding things for other players. In any case, the leaderboards are equally inspiring, as are the stories of players who are complete noobs but managed to overcome impossible odds. And sometimes, just knowing these legendary items are around—even if they’re hidden behind massive paywalls, or it would take a lifetime of grind to achieve even one—is itself a form of motivation.

Is gameplay “fair”? No, many mechanics depend on RNG. You could grind for an eternity and still fall foul of one unlucky roll of the dice. But what’s amazing about this game is that there is a large sandbox element to it.

You set your goals. The game does “guide” you to avoid certain areas and bosses if you’re low level, but when it really comes down to it, even total noobs have been known to go into more difficult levels and flourished there. It really isn’t about the difficulty of the areas and bosses per se; what makes the game impossible for some people—in addition to the RNG and the existing “old boys club” of longer term players—is also that the loadout they have isn’t the easiest for whatever level or mission they’re trying to access.

This issue of loadout is a tricky one. Players often point out that there’s some brokenness to the mechanic here. It feels like, to those who already have plenty, more is given—yet, those who barely have any resources find more is taken from them. Most game lobbies try to make it so every generation starts off with similar loadouts (some game lobbies really, really don’t care about fairness) but the game itself doesn’t guarantee that all new players start with the same stats and even items. So, there are certainly game mechanics which need fixing, and constant vigilance to be exercised against illegal, behind the scenes actions by game hosts to unfairly privilege one group of players over another.

But one compensating factor is that everyone chooses how they progress up their own skill tree. In fact, the game has been around so long it has developed totally different skill trees for every character type possible. And, most usefully, you can change character types midway through the game. Yes, it is frightening to abandon the skill points you’ve racked up; it almost feels like a waste of the x number of hours you’ve pumped into the game so far. But it hasn’t been a waste, because even if you’ve not gained experience points in the new skill tree you’re choosing, you’ve spent years meeting other players, and building your Guild, and learning general game mechanics (especially that nonsensical first person camera!)

Best of all, this is a Dark Souls-like game (yes, I went there!) Your character will die a lot in-game, but it’s perfectly ok. The game is practically designed that way. You can always, always pick up your items and carry on.

The only scenario where your game ends, for good, is if, out of choice or accident, the computer is unplugged. Then it’s curtains for all. In such scenarios, there is no save option—though your friends and teammates might have versions of your game which they remember. (The game cannot be returned, oddly; once gifted to you, it’s yours.)

Everyone’s computer fritzes out—eventually. Everyone gets a little tired of the grind, or the drama between players. Everyone gets angry at various game mechanics, some because they love the mechanic but others don’t, others because they can see how broken some of these mechanics are. Some players even do the hard work of patching some of the more broken mechanics. (It’s really hard to get in touch with the developers.) And everyone gets discouraged now and then, when the “You’ve died” screen shows up once too often.

But you know what? It’s a game, and a gloriously, wonderfully made one at that.

It’s a game. It’s always possible to take a break, find some friends to talk to about what’s blocking your progress, or just pivot away from whatever boss has been murdering your character over and over.

It’s just a game. That’s how I intend to see life from now on.